Helping children cope with dating after divorce

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Nine Guidelines for Talking With Kids About Divorce Try to answer all of your children's questions, and encourage them to keep asking questions in the days and weeks to come.

Children younger than 8 tend to ask questions in a series. Don't suggest more, or go on and on -- keep it simple and concrete.

"For your child's sake, you need to work as hard as you can to create two new families, and it will take both parents to make sure that the new families flourish." Conversations to Help Kids Cope With Divorce How you tell children about an impending divorce will have a lot to do with your child's age, your living situation, and the degree of tension between you and your ex.

If you have older children, give them some time to get used to the news by talking to them at least a month before you and your ex begin living apart.

Having said that, kids can and do thrive after their parents' divorce.

As a parent, your role is to do all you can to help your child weather his transition." Most experts agree that two factors influence how well children cope with divorce: Use these two guideposts in the months ahead as you and your ex-partner begin to set up separate lives.

How to Ease the Effects of Divorce on Children Even in homes where a marriage has been unhappy, children may not want their parents to divorce because they fear for their own security.

From a child's point of view, the world is being torn in two.

There have been many logistical issues and emotions to deal with as you have organized new living arrangements. They may worry that, if their parents can stop loving each other, then how hard would it be for either parent to stop loving them?Experts say that divorce does not have to cast a shadow over your children's entire lives, or keep them from having healthy relationships of their own in the future.As pediatric psychologist Elizabeth Ozer of the University of California, San Francisco, says, "The divorce of parents is a major life event, and it is something a child will be coping with well into adulthood.Try to see your child's perspective, so you'll be less likely to pressure her to disguise her feelings.Your child is more likely to thrive in a happy, calm environment than one that's tense and angry -- even if her parents are divorced.

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